Like every other kind of relationship, interracial love is fraught with its own challenges. Dating has enough problem even in a setting of what is called ‘societal norms’, same race and all. The idea of going to date outside race into a completely new realm, new culture, new language, different traditions may seem like a thrilling adventure, but adjustments can sometimes be like teaching goat how to bark. Due to these differences, we can sometimes find ourselves in a standstill, when what is supposed to be a romantic deal turns sour. It is advisable you get your facts right and be open to the various challenges before venturing into one.
4 Interracial Love Challenges That You Should Know
You may be open-minded, with no bit of racism in your blood, and in fact, your reasons for trying interracial dating may not even be about different skin colors at all. Nevertheless, do not forget about your surrounding – the immediate society. The idea of interracial romance is still not a generally accepted norm and you have to deal with the few people who will think you are making the dumbest and most irrational decision any person can make on love matters. You have to be ready to ignore such. It is your decision and not theirs.
Yay, you finally scaled the hurdle of discrimination to choose the person you love, but what about the family. You may choose to ignore the society, but family’s influence is stronger and can determine the future of your interracial relationship. Unless there has been a previous interracial engagement in the family, you cannot expect them to take your partner with open arms. In reality, you both may even be scared of meeting your families. It is a good idea to hint your family beforehand to get their opinion or probably convince them why they should accept someone from another race into the family.
3. Differences in opinions
You have had to grow up in a society with its ideologies. Traditions, experiences, all those have helped you create a philosophy of life. Interracial dating brings you to love someone from an entirely different culture and philosophy and clashes in outlooks are bound to happen. These differences oftentimes lead to arguments and unless both parties are willing to overlook them, they may face the worst nightmares of their relationship.
4. Having to deal with fetishism
As a woman, you may have to deal with pointing out the differences between someone seeking to satisfy a fantasy and a sincere lover. They both are not first handedly identifiable, but there are still clues you have to look out for at your discretion. For some, dating women from a different race is like amassing trophies to boost their self-esteem. Someone who tells you his dream has always been to date someone from your race may just be another fetishist.
Interracial love is a beautiful thing, if you are willing to face the pending challenges and allow love and romance with singles from different cultures, races and even borders to take its course. Besides, you can can get help or support on some interracial dating sites. You can ask other experienced interracial couples who love to share their thoughts or read some interracial dating techniques on mixed race dating forums to overcome the difficulties you will meet in the biracial relationship among the singles with different races as the Black, White, Asians, Latinos, Native and more.
The rule of the thumb was for white men to go for white women, and black men for black women. Nevertheless, as humans, we have different desires and wanting people from a different race is definitely not a thing to be ashamed of. Sometimes we tend to form stereotypes of races that sometimes we expect people from other races to show some traits or behave in a way. It is important that white men seeking black women erase the notion of racial attachment and accept the fact that they are unique individuals with established principles. The most important factor is finding love, but if you want that to work, you have to be wary of how you comport yourself so you do not lose credibility.
While there are specific rules, it is important that you approach them as you would a white woman. They are the same in the interracial love between the white men and black women(WMBW). A black woman once joked about a white man who approached her. “My skin is light brown, he was beige. We were just different shades of brown, and the mixture of three primary colors makes it.” A white man looking for a black woman should prepare to be open, frown at racial inequality and keep the following in mind:
5 Important Rules for White Men Seeking Black Women
1. Be ready to accept her as independent.
Black women tend to want a free, independent life and you have to be ready to accept that. Accepting that empowers them to have control over decisions, and will boost their self-confidence.
2. Do not give her the impression that she is inferior.
Sometimes without meaning to, white men give the impression that they are doing black women a favor by dating them. You need to avoid that at all cost. No matter what your position is, you have to make her feel wanted and loved. Do not see her as a tool to gratify your ego, but a companion who could eventually make a big difference in your life.
3. Appreciate her Sexuality.
There is nothing as alluring and captivating to a black woman as much as her own sexuality. Women look into the mirror every other day and see the many expectations they are yet to meet. Their desire to appear desirable exceeds the word ‘desire’ itself. For example, she thinks about that shape she’s been longing to have, she thinks she’s too short or too tall and the list could go on and on. For a white man seeking a black woman, you must be prepared to give sincere compliments. It will make her feel buoyant and refreshed.
4. Be thoughtful.
Show considerate care towards her feelings and be genuine in your ways. A woman likes to know that you truly want to go out of your way to please her. This makes her treasured and cherished. You need to know that the little things eventually make the big differences.
5. Be confident
There is no need to be nervous, no need to be scared. She probably feels the way you do. You just have to set the pace, and breathe. You have to remember, she is just like every other white woman you know. Even if you’re in trouble when the white guys are with black girls, you should be confident to face them and try to find the solutions. Only those brave and smart white men can get the appreciation from black women who would like to spend the rest life with you.
Although it is undoubtedly true that mixed or interracial marriage is a common thing these days, it is still a must that to be sure that you and your partner from a different race are well aware of the many challenges involved with interracial marriage before tying the knot. In the US alone, multiracial marriage had increased to about 10 times from 1970 to year 2000 which significantly proves that interracial marriages have undergone a big transformation over the past generations. And people’s perception over this issue is undoubtedly taking a positive spin that’s why interracial marriages are flourishing. For what else could be the reason why it would be increasing if no one can see its benefit? Of course, we can’t simply deny the possible issues but the benefits of interracial marriages far outweigh its downside. According to the Pew Research, newlyweds in 2013 who married someone from different races, 7% are White, 19% are Black, 28% are Asian and 58% are American indians. It is worth mention that among Blacks, men are more likely than women to intermarry and it’s opposite for Asians.
There are amazing interracial marriage benefits that interracial couples can look forward to. These benefits can motivate and develop them as an individual them and can help their marriage last forever.
10 Amazing Interracial marriage benefits
1. Learning another culture
Marrying someone from another culture opens your view of the world. You will learn a lot of things that you have never even heard of and discover things such as food and drinks you never knew existed. This is especially true if his/her family still has strong family heritage such as celebrating holidays and other special events different from your own family’s traditions.
2. A new way of thinking Interracial relationship helps you understand how another person from another ethnicity view the whole world. With multiethnic marriage, it is much easier to learn another culture and tradition.
The result of interracial marriages can be completely wonderful when it comes to genetics. It can be totally unique and awesome as children may inherit both the best sides of their parents’ genes. It has been observed that mixed races can be a great benefit to children when talking about physical appearance.
Parenting is a broad issue even with single race marriages. What you think as perfect parenting style may not be that perfect with your spouse’s opinion. But this issue is not uncommon. Many couples struggle over what’s good or not. There are parents whose style of parenting comes from their own mother’s style of parenting. This creates conflict especially if both parties are not willing to accept each other’s attitude regarding the matter. Normally, if you have learned your spouse’s culture and tradition, parenting style should not be that tough to handle. The truth is that both parenting styles can be beneficial to your child’s growing years as each of them can be combined to one nurturing guide which will be more beneficial not only for you as a couple but for your children as well.
5. Breaking stereotypes
At the start of your relationship with someone from another race, you start to break negative stereotypes about you and your partner’s race. Interracial marriages help other people become more open minded.
6. It keeps things interesting
You will never run out of things to talk about. There are just so many wonderful and diverse things that you can share with one another such as unique food recipes, history, childhood and different places from both of your hometowns.
7. Strengthening your marriage
Interracial or mixed marriages are strengthened by love and appreciation of the many differences. A lot of people still think that this type of marriage is unacceptable but it’s noticeable that it’s very prevalent and actually growing day by day.
8. Couple work together
Because of their differences in religion, custom and traditions, it may be very difficult to talk about future plans but mixed couple should be ready for things like this. Beforehand, couple needs to work together on certain situations that may arise all throughout their marriage such as financial issues, home management and childrearing. These are very common things that any couple should have a basic knowledge of. But since you come from different cultures, what you think as “the way it should be” may not be “the way it should” to your partner. Therefore interracial marriage can help couple work together on issues such as this. This will even make their relationship stronger because of constant communication.
9. Learning two or more languages
There are parents coming from interracial marriages who feel wonderful about their children learning two (or more) languages fluently. It makes them so proud that their children can understand and speak both languages and have rich cultural background that can really be beneficial as they grow up. It also provides them great opportunities in the future.
10. Support network
Support network are available these days. You can help your partner and your children interact with other families of mixed background as well. There are association and social groups that are excellent sources for those who would like to share their mixed cultural issues and life’s experiences and intermingle with other multicultural families.
The daily pressure from each side of the family as well as the pressure coming from society can really be threatening, so you might as well know all about it. We’ve seen a lot of successful interracial marriages and as long as you know the possibilities that may get to your feet, you’re good to go. The truth is that, marriages—interracial or not—needs a guideline to make it successful.
Love is powerful. When two people fall in love, their differences in culture, religion and race can’t prevent them from tying the knot. And although they are reminded daily by society that they don’t belong together through sarcastic smirks, mocking stares and jokes as well as other blunt reactions, their love and willingness to endure are the things that will make them together—proving that intermarriage will forever continue to grow. No skin, race or religion can prevent two people from getting married. So long as both parties can identify societal discrimination and cultural differences and willing to work together on how to handle it.
With these 10 amazing interracial marriage benefits, there’s no reason to be afraid of interracial dating outside your own races.
We’ve seen a lot of ordinary people, celebrities and other famous individuals getting into interracial dating and marriage and in today’s society, you might even think that there is no issue regarding interracial relationship.
Although mixed ethnicity families exist and are on the rise, we cannot deny the fact that nearly 60 years ago, there are 24 states across the country that had laws prohibiting marriage between individuals of diverse races.
If you are into this type of relationship or are considering dating black (if you’re white) or any other race such as Latino, Asian or Polynesian, there are interracial dating tips that you should know. Merely denying that there isn’t a problem with interracial relationship will not do you and your partner any good. Often times, we find ourselves unable to relate with just simple individual differences mush less, a different race. So, here are essential interracial dating tips that you should know to make it last longer.
20 interracial dating tips that you must know
1. Do your research
Sometimes opening your mind and heart to love isn’t enough. You must also think about cultural differences such as flirting and communicating. Some cultures may be a little too aggressive than others so going a little deeper into your partner’s background is necessary if you are longing for a long term relationship. Sometimes, getting the information directly from your date isn’t a good idea, so better do your own research. This is for you to set your own expectation.
2. Focus on your similarities
We must admit the fact that racism still exist and we cannot deny this fact forever. There’s a lot of diversity in any culture. It’s good to know these differences but always remember to focus more on similarities. This is what will keep your relationship alive. And if you truly love each other, you’ll find ways to adapt with each other’s culture.
3. Ask questions
If you want to know something, ask question. Don’t be afraid and don’t keep it to yourself. It’s better to ask than to simply assume. This is really very important in interracial dating because it prevents miscommunications and misunderstanding.
4. There’s no exception
You can’t say your partner is “different”. This just doesn’t work. A lot of people have been trapped by this dogma of thinking their relationship is perfect because they are different from the rest. While it may sound so awesome to you, everybody else knows, this is not true.
5. Respect your partner’s culture and ethnicity
At an early stage of your interracial dating, you may start identifying your differences. Respect will help you understand your partner’s behavior on many different aspects. It would be a little too tough to understand at first, but if you are willing to learn and understand, it wouldn’t be that difficult to show how you respect your partner’s culture and ethnicity on the way you act when you’re together.
6. Be willing to talk about your cultural differences
At an early stage, do not hesitate to talk about your cultural differences. Find out your partner’s opinion and behavior on certain situations. This will help you become more “open” to future discovery of your cultural differences.
7. Know your ultimate desire
Have you thought about your ultimate desire from interracial dating? What is it that you want from this romantic relationship with your partner from a different race? This question will make you think twice but will surely make you realistic. One of the reasons why interracial relationship, or any relationship become unsuccessful is because the goals in life are far different from the other. If you are serious with a relationship, you might as well share your thoughts with your partner. If you are dating your partner just because of sexual fantasies, then, most likely, the relationship will not prosper. If you can’t imagine fathering biracial children, your partner should also know.
8. Know your partner’s ultimate desire
It is not only your ultimate desire that’s essential because if the feeling is not mutual, your relationship—no matter how intimate it is not—it will all turn to devastation. So as early as possible, get the hints and evaluate. Know his/her intention. Like you, your partner should also have clear vision. And just as any type of relation, there should be future goals together. Then, talk about it. One or two years of a long term relationship might turn to wasted years if you’ll not communicate about your partner’s ultimate desire.
9. Making a statement
To be loved and have someone to love is a pleasing, no matter what color you or he/she may be. Whatever, you hear from everybody else are nothing but commentaries. You cannot please everybody and you can’t control them. They have their own way of thinking. Ultimately, your choice to date interracially may be assumed as some type of hidden desire on your behalf as in making a statement socially, economically or politically. So, your true motivations as well as your partner’s should supersede their thinking. From this standpoint, do your best to maintain a happy successful interracial relationship. So, do not worry about the public perception.
10. Fixation v attraction
Relationship is not like shopping where you have numerous options. One of the reasons why a lot of people say they are loveless is because they have their “own choice”. You can’t just pick and choose. If you meet someone and he/she likes you, think about what he/she may be thinking about you. Are you being looked upon as a potential partner or just someone to hang around to feel better? The point here is whether you are being packaged as a potential mate or not.
11. Assess yourself
When you enter into an interracial dating, just like any other serious relationship, you have to think and assess yourself. Are you strong, courageous, and patient to deal with any issues that may arise from interracial relationship? Are you willing to change in many ways for the love of your partner from a different race?
12. Consider your family
Your family, without a doubt plays a significant role in your life. So, you also need to gauge their perception about you dating interracially. If you are emotionally independent, your parents’ thoughts or reactions may not bother you that much. While there are still a lot of parents who are against this set up, we cannot deny that they are also parents who are equally not that concern whoever their son or daughter date around. Not because they do not care about you but because, they know you can either handle or that they just doesn’t mind your date’s color. They may feel a little estranged connecting with your partner, but on their part, it may not be that important for as long as you both are happy. However, if your family shoes obvious signs of negative thoughts about your partner, then, recognize your date’s reaction to this. If he/she can support you when your family is negative about it, that’s a good sign. If not, you better think twice.
13. Religious belief matters
Religion plays a vital role in an in a relationship. Just imagine the arguments your or your partner can create if your religion contradicts each other. So, to avoid the conflict, learn and understand your partner’s religion. Accept that sometimes no matter how deep a person loves you, it would be too tough to expect he’ll change his/her religion for you.
14. Have fun
Interracial couples or not, when you’re together, have some fun. Don’t think about anything else that will ruin the day. There’s a time for serious communication and there’s time for fun. Be jolly!
15. Be strong emotionally and mentally
If you think you are emotionally and mentally healthy, interracial dating may not just be for you. As we all know, people who are dependent on other peoples’ opinions would always ask for their approvals. If you get into interracial love and ask people—friends, family, coworkers— about what they think about it, then you are putting yourself into a very stressful environment.
16. Breaking Stereotypes
Stereotyping is very common but interracial dating can help break this. Once you enter an interracial relationship, you will gradually realize that what you normally thought about a certain individual is not even halfway true. You see, society implanted this thought to us when we were young and we can’t simply delete this idea on our minds. But the good thing is that when you’re in a multicultural relationship, you would see that these negative stereotypes are all fictitious which makes you become more open-minded.
17. Be ready to be insulted
Although biracial dating and interracial marriage are common these days, being scrutinized is also very common. You will hear a lot of negative words and will be asked insulting questions about you and your partner’s relationship. Be ready to answer by replying with words that will influence their minds. But if you think simple ignoring them is better, then be it. They will either accept the fact that they are being ignored or that they are causing stress. But always be ready. This also requires the understanding that, racism still exists.
18. Do not mention race in your conversation
Mentioning “race” in a conversation can trigger a bad mood. This word is just too powerful that it may either cause terrible fight or create silent war. Don’t mention it in any conversation or meeting with friends, family or relatives. It is better to enjoy the day than spend hours of unnecessary debate. So, avoid using it unless you have to.
19. Understand that love is powerful
We’ve seen people who started dating interracially and ended up in an interracial marriage successfully. The truth is love is powerful and it really does move mountain. So, no matter how diverse your culture and ethnicity is compared to your partner, if love is on the air, everything is else is secondary. You can tolerate, accept and even embrace his/her background if you have found true love with someone belonging to a different race.
20. Do what pleases your partner
Merely knowing and understanding the vast difference of your religion, food preferences, ethnicity and culture is useless if you’ll not find a way to embrace it. It’s like saying you love someone without showing. It’s pointless. So, if you want a long and lasting interracial relationship, make sure you do your job. If in his/her culture, slippers should be left outside the house, then why not leave it there? If in his/her culture, it is mandatory to show respect to his/her parents by asking for their hands and putting it on your forehead while bowing, why not do it? If it makes your partner happy, you’ll do what pleases him or her as long as it wouldn’t hurt you morally.
Race, culture, customs and traditions play a very significant role in a relationship but with proper behavior, it wouldn’t be that complex to relate and adapt to it. But prior to dating someone of different race, consider the pros and cons of interracial dating. Make sure you are knowledgeable about his/her culture and that you are ready to overcome any challenges both emotionally and mentally.
Even though interracial personals are a fast-growing niche among internet interracial dating sites. Interracial dating may still have a long way to go before the word itself is forgotten but the fact that the words race and interracial exists, it wouldn’t be too hard to accept that it might take a thousand years.
But above all, if you found someone who you truly care about and makes you feel about yourself, race should not be a major concern. Interracial dating may not be that easy, especially on the first few years but if you think you have found true love, then go for it. Life is short and it is meant to be enjoyed. And long as you follow these 20 interracial dating tips that you should know, you’re good to go.