Interracial Marriage continue to be more prevalent in the US today. The negative influences and social forces against this type of union have subsided gradually through the years. But, there’s no denying that nearly 50 years ago, interracial marriage was not legal in many states and there was only about 1% of interracial marriages reported in America in 1970. In 2013, however, it was reported that it reached to about 12%.
We can’t deny though that interracial couples still face issues concerning their differences as well as social pressures from various different communities. In fact, in one of the surveys done in South Carolina, 28% out of the people surveyed still think that interracial couple should be banned. Racism still influences it. The nagging comments, the lingering stares and vulgar jokes are just few of the many damaging racial issues these interracial couples endure—proving that prejudice-free society is far from reality.
These types of pressures may also be considered as reasons for interracial marriage dissolution. But there are ways to avoid this. Just read the following 10 common fatal mistakes that interracial couples always make.
1. Prejudiced in-laws
This issue is very common to interracial couples and marriages. This, however, can be avoided by showing respect to your partner’s traditional and cultural background. Respect your in-laws and remember to respect their beliefs all the time. It may be too tough to please them, but going above and beyond words and remaining patient are extremely effective. Sooner or later, they will see who you are—someone with a genuine heart—not an enemy and not someone “from a different race”.
2. Opposing values
This is the most common problem faced by interracial couples eversince. To make your relationship work, avoid clashing values. Learn to be more patient and understand your differences. After all, even traditional couples face the same issue. Lean to keep quiet and talk about it when both of you are in good temper.
3. Racial jokes
Avoid racial offenses and jokes that trigger misunderstanding and conflict. When you are around with friends, let them know that you don’t appreciate racial comments even if it’s done in a joking manner. It would also be best to avoid people who would only give you and your partner stress. It’s not worth it.
Human, by nature is judgmental. When you are in an interracial dating or relationship, make sure to avoid judging or comparing your partner’s way of thinking and behavior with yours. Instead, focus more on your similarities because this is, after all, the reason why you found each other. Skin color doesn’t have anything to do with ideas of compatibility.
5. Being afraid
Interracial couples are tough and independent. Being afraid to ask questions if you want to know more about your partner’s ethnicity will help you understand his/her background more. This will avert miscommunications and misunderstanding. But prior to dating, you should have at least done your assignment. Research the basic things that you should know about his/her cultural background.
6. Ours is different
There’s no such thing as “ours is different”. When you’re into interracial relationship, do yourself a favor of accepting the fact that just as any other interracial couple, you too, will experience uncomfortable remarks and situations that you have to face in order to survive. You can’t say your relationship is different because it is not. Accept the fact that you will be meeting some of your partner’s racist acquaintances, friends and family. This may not happen all the time but it will happen at least once (if you’re lucky).
7. Mentioning race in any conversation
The word race in interracial relationship seems to trigger a conflict. No matter matter what race of the one you love is White, Black, Hispanic, Asian ext, you should avoid this word as much as possible. It will be helpful to shorten the distance of two hearts.
In any kind of relationship trust is always a must and the best policy. Distrust conveys jealousy, egocentricity and it can be very fatal too. There are lots of culture differences for the interracial couple and trust is more valuable for a perfect interracial relationship. As an experienced woman with a successful interracial marriage said, “Ultimately, what’s important to me and the things that I heavily considered before agreeing to marry my husband were that facts that I can trust him, that he loves me, that he respects me, that he is kind to me and to others.”
9. Ultimate desire should be mutual
Couples must be open when it comes to their ultimate desire. At an early stage of a mixed relationship, determine your partner’s goal. This shows how serious you are. So, you have to find ways on how to define where your relationship is going. Ask your partner what he she thinks about biracial children or interracial marriage. Similar expectations and common conviction plays a major role in this type of union. Avoid assuming, or you’ll end up broken.
10. Cultural differences
Simply avoiding to talk about your cultural differences as a couple is fatal in an interracial relationship. At an early stage of the relationship, you need to know how your partner’s cultural differences affect your own culture. If both of you are willing to talk about it, it would be a lot easier to understand each other’s view making it a lot easier to accept one another. Cultural differences may include religious belief, food preference, cooking style and lifestyle so as early as possible, just imagine the scenario. But by talking about it, you will be able to understand how you would react on certain situations. Not knowing anything about your partner’s culture could be fatal, so talk about it as early as possible.
Although it seems like interracial couples are very common these days, it still poses unique challenges. Famous interracial couples and celebrities are not exemption to this bigotry. Many multiracial couples had speak out about the insult they’ve faced from our society, while many of them endure, many couples parted. It is comprehensible. Rejection and fear are just two aspects that you have to overcome when you are into interracial relationship. It can possibly be harder compared to those that are not into this type of union but the idea that is has to be avoided because it is hard to keep it should be also be avoided.
It’s indeed true that love sometimes love is not enough. As an interracial couple, better understanding and acceptance of each culture and tradition are the keys to a lifetime romantic interracial marriage or partnership. These interracial couples 10 fatal mistakes you should avoid will help you make your relationship, not only better but also long-lasting.